Thursday, January 28, 2010

THE NANAS EFFECT


I don't really care for the term stepmom. The name sounds cold and unimportant. And thanks to Sir Disney, when I hear stepmom, I automatically picture a large chin and an evil eye. NO.THANK.YOU.

My husband's children call me "Nanas". The wonder twins started it. They started off saying "Anna", but then it became "Nana" and somewhere along the way, for no apparent reason at all, the letter "s" was added. And well....the rest is history. I have been a proud "Nanas" ever since.

The most entertaining part of my "stepmom" name is when it is used in public places. So picture this, you are in Target and you see the cutest little curly haired girl running and screaming "Nanas...they have hello kitty shoes!" You turn around to take a glance at the little one's grandmother. But, much to your surprise, standing in Granny's space is a 28 year old girl with a big grin on her face. You, my friend, like many other innocent bystanders, have been hit by "The Nanas Effect." :)

But, now let's talk about that grin I have on my face as "Nanassss!" is echoing thru the hallway. I smile when they call me "Nanas" because it is a name that was created organically from the mouths of my sweet, precious stepchildren. It's the name they say when they greet me at the door and the name they scream when they need help in the bathroom. And although,"Nana" is commonly a grandmother name, "N-A-N-A-S" happens to be my name...and I absolutely love it!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

THE DECISION

No decision has been as impactful, chaotic and wonderful as my choice to become a stepmother. I like to call the world of "stepmommy-hood" - beautiful chaos. The complexities of my role are infinite. I am a wife, mother, stepmother, referee, cheerleader and friend. Some days it is a form of multi-tasking, other days its a borderline case of schizophrenia.

When I married my amazing husband, Kelly, some people wondered why I wanted to marry a man with four children, an ex-wife and what they saw as "baggage". And because I come from the open-minded state of Tennessee (insert:sarcasm), folks back home often looked at me with the same tilted head look that a dog gives when it doesn't quite understand what you are saying. I admit, I would have probably had those same judgemental questions for my friends or family.

I know from the outside looking in, it seemed illogical and risky. Which is why many were confused, since I am obsessively logical and so risk-adverse that I have had a "back-up" savings account since I was 13. But for me...there was no actual decision. No weighing of the pros and cons. No wondering how my life could be different if I married the cookie-cutter person. There was a simple truth. I loved this man to my core, and I couldn't imagine a life without him by my side. And when I say I love my husband, I love all of him. My husband wouldn't be the man he is today without his previous marriage experience, his beautiful children, or his rocky road. He is who he is today because of his past. And I am so madly in love with who he is.

And, on the day we were married, I vowed to love and cherish his children til the day I die....and to me....that will be a very easy promise to keep.